Blog 56 – What’s the Problem?
I was brought up thinking problems are a negative thing, but now as an adult I have to wonder is that true? Sometimes the times of my biggest problems have also been the times of my biggest growth. From the problem, to a solution, to change, to growth.
I’m not saying that you should consciously invite problems into your life, I don’t think we have to worry about that – I think they are coming already whether you want them or not.
Imagine a world without problems, perfect job, perfect partner, perfect kids, and the perfect life. The novelty would be ok for a while and then guess what would happen?
Yes boredom.
If everything was that perfect it would drive you insane.
Heavens, I’m a man, I wouldn’t have anything to fix, no problems to solve. As I say it, it maybe ok for awhile but eventually it would drive me crazy just sitting twiddling my thumbs.
In life there seems to be a cycle: from the problem, to the solution to change and then change creates more problems and so it goes on.
It is hard to see the positive in some problems, but why did we get this problem in the first place? Maybe it is the solution that is the problem, we may not like the way it has to be resolved. So maybe we need to create better quality problems.
Examples of quality problems are:
Starting a new job, or starting a new family, or a new relationship, moving house or flats. Leaving a relationship or having to confront somebody or communicate with somebody who is difficult to talk to; and one of the major growth quality problems is asking somebody for help. These problems are opportunities to grow, they are advantageous problems.
Safe problems are within our control. Like depression, putting things off, food & addictions, hesitation, blaming others for your troubles, avoiding making decisions, withdrawing from relationships. (Some of these I got from Anthony Robbins). Safe problems seem to be safe but they are really keeping us from emotions and fear we try to avoid. But of course the safe problems cause more pain & hardship than quality problems. Sometimes we will create a safe problem that’s in our control to cover up a problem which we don’t have control of. Such as drinking alcohol, instead of dealing with the quality problem of not being happy in a relationship.
I see problems as a gift, the gift to discover the meaning behind them.
Problems have power.
Problems create movement.
They sometimes involve stepping up, getting out of our comfort zones.
Excelling, courage, determination, great thought processes, self discovery, will power, bravery, creativity, resolve, speaking your truth speaking out, being seen, these all seem pretty good outcomes to me.
Pushing through the resistance to the problem.
It always seems to be a bit of a challenge but it builds character.
Builds muscles.
So roll on the problems, quality problems. Roll on the growth, roll on the adventure.
Cheers Pete C.
